Happy Easter Day


Happy Easter Ya’ll…

Yesterday, I had a fantastic time at church. It wasn’t because it was Easter and me and the kids were doing the casual easter flyness!

PicsArt_1398164686032Peep the Little Diva TV’s Purse straps #shewon

 

It was because I just needed to be in the house of God and enjoy worship music and be in a space filled with good people trying to do good things. Say want you want about religion, Christianity, Islam, any faith, or whatever. I promise you if you go into a church, mosque, synagogue, or any house of faith during worship 9 out of the ten people around you will be people who want to do nothing but be good people and be good to you. Belief stuff aside its good to be surrounded by good and God. That is truly a blessing.

We had a visiting speaker and she got up there and both broke and healed my heart in her  five minute speech..

She  looked so happy, so vibrant, so Easter fresh and fly. I was prepared for a good story happy story about how great life is when you are cute, blond, and bubbly. But that chick got up there and made me do the UGLY cry right all over my neighbors unsuspecting shoulder.

She told a really heartbreaking story about losing her husband in a horrible accident and the kind of brokeness and pain she found herself struggling with after his death. The way she talked about the way her heart broke, how agonizing that pain is… Was  TOO much for me cause while I don’t know it through death, I know that pain too well.

On one hand, I was sitting there asking God to restore me like he restored her and on the other hand I was sitting there thinking nothing that terrible has happened to me, you should be ashamed for sitting here feeling like your struggle is anything like what she must have gone through and you are like 8 gazillion times better now. Its true… I feel so much better now. For the most part I feel restored…

Time really does heal all wounds. But just because a wound has healed doesn’t mean its still not a wound.

So as she was speaking she referenced a bible verse that left me breathless. I am not a bible scholar, but….

Psalms: 34:18 (The Message)
If your heart is broken, look and you’ll find God right there;
if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.

Chile.

CHILE.

C  H  I  L  E.

I almost got up and cut a rug right in the middle of her speech.

Cause that mess is truuuueeeeeee. (yupp all those u’s and all those e’s were NECESSARY).

If your heart is broken, look and you’ll find God right there.

If your heart is broken, look and you’ll find God right there.

If your heart is broken, look and you’ll find God right there.

You know… I have so much more to write… But I’m deeply exhasuted from a day full of looking for and finding God. So I’ll just leave you with that.

Look into your broken places. Get down right to the very core of where it hurts and look. And while I know you will find some jagged edges, some painful memories, some real tragedies, some unimaginable pain, and some deep deep heartbreak,  I know that if you want him there… If you look closely deep in your pain, you’ll see God there too. But I promise you… He’s in there doing the work… Healing you one day at a time… Hold on, love. Hold on.

SistaTV Loves You… No you love you and treat yourself like it.

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Welcome, Darling... So I'm supposed to write something really amazing here... But in the words of the greatest philospher of our time... Ain't nobody got time for that. I kid. I kid. Kinda. I'll update this someday... but for the time being... Just click around... and remember... SistaTV Loves You!

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SistaTv's Daily Gratitude List #sdgl
1.  I get ridiculously sick when I'm pregnant. Its not like anything you imagine.... it's worse.I threw up at minimum 7 times every single day of my pregnancy, I had an at home nurse to come give me ivs, a permanent zofran drip in my thigh, my pelvis dislocated, so I had a walker and a wheelchair,  I broke out in itchy rashes everywhere, scratched so much and on and on and on... 2.  When I was like 5.5 mos pregnant I got so dehydrated I passed out. In the emergency room, they took an ultrasound and told me the baby was perfectly fine but they needed to keep me at the hospital. 
3. When I got up to the room, the doctor was doing his rounds and came to check on me but the ultrasound from the er was not in my chart. 
4. He called down there but nobody picked up...As he opened the door to go check at the nurses station a tech was walking by with an ultrasound machine. He stopped her and said you know what let's just do an ultrasound here again and not waste time trying to find the other one. 
5. As he was doing the ultrasound, he was chatting me up and telling me this is good that is good, but then suddenly, I saw his face change, he stopped mid sentence.
6. Whats wrong? Silence. He spent a few moments flicking that ultrasound thingy across my belly in silence and then looked at my chart again weirdly. 
7. He said, Uh so did they tell you anything was different while you were down there? 
8. I am in a panic at this point. I say uhh no. They said everything is fine with the baby and you are going to say the same thing now too, right? 
9. He pointed to the screen... Yes everything is fine buttttt... this is Baby A... He moved his probe a little a and widen the screen... and...
10. "This is Twin B." .
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 SistaTV loves you, correcting people who say, "Oh TWINS oh you have Double Trouble"  by saying, "No Beloved... I have Double BLESSINGS" and his Mama call him Clay... Imma call him Clay. #goodmorning #twinmama #twinboys #worthit
@rudyfrancisco wrote this. He is as brilliant as the sun. Go buy TWO of his books now. It's called Helium... You are welcome. SistaTV loves you, beautiful words,  and the way Rudy Franciso writes them. #goodmorning #rudyfrancisco
Hello & welcome to today's Miracle. ISSA WHOLE ENTIRE MEDICAL STUDENT!  #yaslawd #whitecoatceremony #AmegashieGirlsAlwaysFinishFirst #theysaidholdyourapplause WE AIN'T HOLD A single solitary bit of AP or Plause. #screamedloudaf #10of10willscreamagain #choreographingourdanceforgraduationalready #ghanajollofforthewin
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On the day of my birth my Father wanted to name me Eunice. But my brothers said it should be Senam... because Senam means God's gift. #happybirthdaytome
SistaTVs Daily Gratitude List #sdgl 
1. Abundantly Awesome Augusts.
2. Alliteration is my favorite.
3. I've never had a vacation like this. The cruises and other trips we've taken feel so go go go for me. I purposely picked this place because it's quiet and relaxing. We don't have to go go go anywhere unless we want to. 
4. The ocean is calm and shallow enough for the kids to play safely for hours. They've seen all kinds of beautiful sea life just swimming around them. There is a little pier they jump off and paddleboards, kayaks, and all kinds of, " Oh my God, mommy, look at me" stuff for them to play with.
5. I have not been looking. "Y'all betta hush and enjoy this pool/beach/free activities and let me nap in peace." Just kidding... kinda.
5. I've spent most of this vacation allowing the sun to kiss my skin in all the places that still need to be healed. 
5. I've spent most of this vacation praising, praying,  and something else I can't quite name. I'm okay with not knowing it's name yet. 
8. I'm not sure why but I just realized I listed the last three things as 5 by accident. 
9. I don't believe in accidents.
10. Healing. Thank you. More please, God.

SistaTV loves you,  first it hurts then it heals, then it helps... and all the worries I will leave in the waves of this ocean that won't worry my way through my world ever again. #goodmorning #packlight
Where in the world is Senam and her #fatkini? DO IT ROCKAFELLA!
You are the light of the world.

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