SistaTV Daily #10 – Unable to Elsa


I volunteer as a tribute…

Well, No… Actually,  I volunteer YOU as a tribute.

For what?

Well, I’m volunteering you to take over all my problems.

Why.. Well, obviously, you like problems.

I know you are sitting there vigorously shaking your head like, “Nu UH, SistaTV, I’m over here trying to live my best, most peaceful and problem free life. EVER”

LIES.

Fantasies.

FAIRYTALES.

I see you all up and down my Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and in all aspects of your life complaining, crying, and losing your mind over a problem that you could easily exclude yourself from and get the hell on with your life.

You are a volunteer participant in your pain… and you keep it going with nonsense when you know you don’t have to.

If you are going to continue to be down for creating and continuing extra problems in your life I’d like to help you out by giving you all of mine cause… I’M. NOT. GOING.

I don’t do it anymore. I have purposefully, carefully, and completely excluded myself from any volunteer problems that are not absolutely necessary for my survival and my life and joined team

Not today, Satan.

Not tomorrow, Terror.

NOT EVER, Devil.

I don’t fight nobody for nothing. (triple negative for the win)

Because I don’t have to.

I don’t prove any points about who I am and what I am or am not going to take by spending any time arguing with anyone who is dedicated to misunderstanding me. I let my life and my actions do the fighting for me.

I do what I’m going to do. Take what I want to take, leave the rest for the fighters, and there is no problem.

I won’t  and don’t feel insulted, assaulted, or upset about any thing that I don’t absolutely have to be. And even then, I experience the experience, note the circumstances that led me to this nonsense, try to learn what I need to learn, and then I let that mess and go and KEEP IT MOVING.

That is not to say I don’t have problems… That is to say I made a CHOICE, because we all have  choice and I’m choosing absolutely zero volunteer suffering.

A lot of us are stuck wallowing and wilding out in a lot of mess that we don’t have to be.
Some of you swear you are drowning in the murky filthy, shallow side of the pool of unnessecary BS and are screaming at other people, at the world, at your bank, your mama, your man, your woman, your friends,and your child to throw you a damn life raft when you know good and well…

1. Them folks barely have one for themselves or even know where to get one
2. If they did they would NEVER give it to you
3. YOU DON’T NEED THEM TO GIVE YOU ANYTHING. AT. ALL.

You need to steady your own body, claim your own life, and calm your own mind. You need to put your feet firmly on the ground that is underneath YOU, RIGHT NOW, and stand up and walk right out of that kiddie pool of pain and unnecessary problems and walk onto to your rightful place on pleasure island.

The plan boss… The plan…

So where is Pleasure Island…

Well pleasure island is anywhere where, No is a complete sentence. Where you understand that everything doesn’t need YOUR response. Where you understand that you alone are enough and where you finally BELIEVE that people, places ,and things are exactly what they have consistently revealed themselves to be.

If this person, place or thing has been a problem forever… They are a problem.

So quit participating in the problem. Really, You could probably stop participating in 99.5% of your problems tomorrow.

But if you aren’t ready for that kind of gangstas paradise, all you have to do is limit it.

Limit your participation.

You know, your coworker is going to leave her coffee cup in the sink despite your 50-11 passive aggressive signs about keeping your shared work space clean. So you can be mad about it. You can directly confront her about it ONCE and then you can look over her cup and get on to your own biznass cause, WHY DO YOU CARE??

. Or you could chalk it up to whatev’s take the 30 seconds to wash it your self and keep it pushing.

Its not the problem, its your participation.

You know every year, your cousin Nae Nae or Jim Bob is going to eat up all the food at Thanksgiving, not bring not even a Aldi brand pack of Hawaiian Sweet Rolls, pack up 17 to-go containers, and be gone before the first drop of Palmolive hits the dish sponge.

SO WHAT!

But instead you pissed while you brining the bird, you annoyed while you mashing the potatoes and you got an attitude when its time to be thankful and eat. All because a problem that you knew was a problem… was a problem.

Let me encourage you to renounce your goodstanding and lifetime membership on Team Unable To Elsa and

LET.

IT.

GO.

SistaTV Unable to Elsa

You have 2 options.
1. Don’t invite cousin Nae Nae.
2. Invite her and don’t give a single, solitary, good, greasy, GATdamB about anything she does or does not say or do to you.

You don’t have to be rude about it. You don’t have to have an attitude about it. In fact, I encourage you to be completely and totally kind and pleasant about it… Because you won.

I googled “who gives a damn?” and our names did not come up in the results… GLOORRAAYYY!

You are now suckafree and got one less problem with out him so you should be pleased as that spiked punch you should have made. :p

I mean do what you gotta do… But by ANY MEANS NECESSARY you do NOT have to participate in the problem anymore. Ever. AT ALL.

Some of you have issues with your exes, or wish they were exes. Somebody broke your heart did your wrong and F’ed you over. Or someone IS Currently breaking your heart, doing you SO wrong and F-ing you over…

So sad. Too bad, my friend… But, baby you need to ELSA. ELSA. ELSA. ELSA.

Why you all on their Facebook, in their Instagram, all up and through their blog/tumblr/and twitter? Why you texting them? Why you returning their calls? Why isn’t their number blocked?

What good are you expecting to come of this? This person did you wrong. They did you dirty. They lied. They disrespected you. They broke your heart. They are not the one. You are not together or you know you shouldn’t be. But you want to know what they are doing for why?

Or even WORSE… you want to be their FRIEND???

BYE, DUMMY.

Why are you still participating in any kind of relation with them at all?

But there you are pouting at ya house, vague booking at work, and living your worst life ever all because you continue to sign up for volunteer beatings from somebody who you know had NO problem giving you the 1,2, sucker punch last time.

WHY Felicia?!  BYE FELICIA!!!

When you engage in any of these behaviors you are the only one hurting YOURSELF. You are  re-injuring, the injury this situation or that fool caused you by being mad, hurt, or upset about a problem that is no longer a problem but is a problem strictly because you keep participating in said problem.

Read that TWICE.

And sugarpie honeybunch, THAT is the problem…. but giving up your participation is the solution…

SistaTV loves you but I DEMAND that you STOP. Here’s hoping today’s blog and podcast will help you pump ya breaks… I love you. I love you. I love you.

Here’s the link to Johnathan Mead’s quote: http://paidtoexist.com

And buy Frozen, or a sexy Elsa costume or SOMETHING from SistaTv’s Amazon Link so my life can be about more than writing things like “Why, Felicia?! Bye Felicia” on the interwebz someday soon. #fixitjesus LOL

<3 Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/sistaTV

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Senam SistaTV Amegashie

Welcome, Darling... So I'm supposed to write something really amazing here... But in the words of the greatest philospher of our time... Ain't nobody got time for that. I kid. I kid. Kinda. I'll update this someday... but for the time being... Just click around... and remember... SistaTV Loves You!

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Me: Hmmm... Its been raining a lot... and there  is a ton of melting snow... Let me go downstairs and flex my super duper grown-up uber resonsible actual factual homeowner skills and check on the basement sump pump to make sure all systems are in tip top shape. 
Me to me: YASSSSS Mama! Yaasss Look at you all responsible and ish. ???
Me as I walk down the stairs: Alll the women who independeeennnttt.
Also me: I??N??D ?? E ?? P ??E??N??D??E??N??T.... DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEEEAANNNNNSSS????
Still Me twerking down the steps: She got her own house, she got he own ca- OH MY GAWD IS THAT A SPIDER ????????????????????
Me to Me: SUS... YOU GOT A WHOLE ENTIRE MORTGAGE... You ain't  scared of no itsy bitsy spider... Also its a piece of lint sis...
ME: YOU RIGHT!!!... Let me get my "Senam the builder Yes we can... this little light of mine self together" and check this sump like the boss I am...??????
Walks boldly to sump pump..... looks around completely confused...
Me: Uhhhh.... so what do I do now???? I have no idea what this ish is supposed to do... Me to me: Well suusss... Is there water on de floor? 
Me:  Nope.
ME: OKAY WE GOOD. WE POPPING.... I think...
Me: Well I should like touch the cord or the hole something or something right? 
Me to Me: ¯\_(?)_/¯ Me: Slowly reaches hand towards sump cord at the exact moment the sump pump kicks back on and starts making noises...
Also Me: ???????????????????????????Oh LAWD. I  BROKKEDEDEDDDD IT. 
ME to me: Google it Bish  It supposed to do that. ?
ME: Yea... I had already knew that... ??Skips  back upstairs meekly singing... I'm a grooowwnnn woman... I  can do whatever I want... #ididittho ??????????? ?????? #imgrown #girlboss #gib #deliberateandafraidofnothing #afteragoodselfpeptalk #yougoodyoupoppin #firsttimehomeowner #grownwoman  #sistatv 
#chicagogram
One of my most favorite pastimes is singing #tvthemesongs as loudly and dramatically as I can... ?These kids now absolutely nothing about the absolute jams of alll of our tv show theme songs were... LISTEN TO THE WORDS... #cousinbalki and #cousinlarry and the #perfectstrangers theme song is lifffeeeee. Ps. I'm obsessed with touching this 1.99 cent wig because why not. ??? #tgifonabc #saturyay #bingewatching @sistatv loves you. #alittlepitchydawg #lmao #nowwearesohappywedothedanceofjoy #danceofjoy
SistaTVs Daily Gratitude List #sdgl 
1. My #wanderlust is popping so ridiculously hard right now. #obsessed
2. On Saturday, I saw a video of a beautiful  sunset in some far far away land and said... Lord, I want to be there so bad. 
3. On Sunday, I saw this about 2 minutes from my front door. 
4. I'm still going to be living it all the way up on somebody's tropical beach paradise AyeeSAP but this aint so bad either.
5. Daniel Ceasar 
6. Happy Valentine's Day y'all. I love you. Now you love you and treat yo self like it. #treatyoself

SistaTV loves you, Sunday lovely Sundays, and Real Love. #somethingtosetmyheartfree
SistaTV's Daily Gratitude List #sdgl 
1. Good Morning.
2. The KidTVs all make their own lunches for school. Sometimes I have mommy guilt for not being the mom who is packing glorious  beautiful elephant shaped  sandwiches, peeled grapes, flower cut carrots filled with surprise organic gluten free home baked treats and notes with bible and inspirational quotes to sustain them and blah blah blah. So imagine my surprise to hear, "OH MY GOD, Mommy. Did you know ______ and _____ moms don't let them pack their own lunches? They don't even know what they are getting everyday. I would HATE that. I like getting to make exactly what I want everyday."
3. MESSAGE 
4. The way D'angelo sings "Send it on. Send it thruuu. Send it right back to youuu"
5.  TwinBTV eats PB and Js  3 out of the 4 days they make and take home lunch. This morning, I ran out of crunchy peanut butter so i open his jar of creamy peanut butter to be assaulted by literally half a jar of jelly residue all in his peanut butter... So i had to scrape it alllll out cause Ewwwwww and also #yum.
6. TwinATV takes a extra dry Turkey and Cheese sandwich. No mustard. No mayo. 2 slices of turkey ONLY. I buy him cheese slices CHEDDAR ONLY and do you know that joker does not take it off slice by slice he just snatches it off the stack any which a way leave weird shaped rando slices of cheese all over the pack. 
7. LittleSistaTV makes the most elaborate 7 course thermos meals. Homemade Pesto pasta, ribeye steak, hazelnut cookies, filtered water fancy apples and nuttella dip and blah blah blah. Lately she and I are obsessed with Cara Cara oranges... we reupped our orange supply yesterday... so she washed and brought the last fancy Apple right before she ran out the door.
8. Soooo this is my breakfast because...
9. I like getting to make exactly what I want everyday.
10. Amen.

SistaTV loves you, morning glory, and realizing that life can be exactly like your breakfasts and lunches... #sistatvlovesyou #goodmorning #sistatv #gratitude
SistaTV's Daily Gratitude List #sdgl
1. Smooth Jazz background music #wnua95.5 
2. Fancy Apples and Mistakenly purchased Crunchy Peanut Butter. #sugarbeeapples
3. Mail. Do you ever think about how magnificent it is that you can order something hundreds or thousands of miles away from you and have it at your doorstep in just a few days or so. #issamiracle. 
4. I really miss the beach but I found a youtube video that is all footage of beautiful beaches with smooth jazz playing in the background so SAME... amirite?  Lol...No but whatever I'm going to let this sucka run all day while I work to remind me that God and I are building me a life that feels even better than a beach vacay everyday. #thankyouGod #luke145 #ephesians320 #psalms465
5. I really, really, like my new bathroom. 
6. Ree sent me some Black Girl Magic cause you can never ever have enough. 
7. And I think to myself... What a wonderful world. 
SistaTV loves you, Love, and being magical and deserving of sweetness. Love yourself and treat yourself like it.
SistaTVs Daily Gratitude List #sdgl 
1. I wore actual matching winter pajamas from my actual pajama drawer cause I'm a real live grown up.  #iwentobedlikethis #ifoldedlike25percentofmylaundryalso #stilltoolazytoopullrsndomthreadoutofmyheadboardtho. #alsowilllikelybewearsamepajamastochurchandgroceryshopping #Adultinggameonfleek
2. Me: Hey Solstice did you have fun hanging with your cousin Allyson.
Solstice: Yea we were talking about DNA! It was awesome
Me. Is that the YouTuber you both watch all the time? 
Solstice: NO mommy.... D N A. 
Me: oh it's a singer? Or something?
Solstice: (stares at me in exasperated  tweenager) NO. D. N. A. LIKE SCCCIIIEENNCCEEEE. 
Me: https://gph.is/1qc9XnM
Solstice: https://gph.is/1qc9XnM
3. My ceiling fan has a remote control. This was meh whatever to me initially but waking up hot at 3am and only having to move 1/4 centimeter to turn on your fan is life affirming. #winterpajamasnomore
4. My mommy sent me 6788900 pounds of jollof. Also life affirming. 
5. The internet. 
6. Christina Chocolatina Lee made me ugly cry. #iloveyou #thankyou #luke145 
7. God is real. 
8. The monologue in The Commodores "Just to be close to you." #awwwwwegurl #somuchVALUE  #nodirectionnoPURPOSE  #youmademyWHOOOO #sugarsugaryeahyeahyeah 
SistaTV loves you, feeling like Sunday Morning, and Jesus is Love. #hewontletyoudown #goodmorning #sistatvdaily
I almost didn't make it y'all... But God. I'm so so grateful. Hallelujah, he has won the victory... #godisreal #imsograteful #conqueror  #sistatvlovesyouandgoddoestoo #peacebestill
SistaTv's  Daily Gratitude List #sdgl 
1. Me & my three... SistaTV loves you, family meal time, and patience.  #sistatvdaily
Me waiting on all the Greens Beans, Potatoes, Tomatoes y'all  are going to be making me tommorrow...? The KidTVs and have openings in our leftover collection schedule. We will bring our own togo containers and donate to the festivities.  I got $5 on it. If  you only use country crock and Velveeta in your mac and cheese we ain't coming... If there aint somebody's big ole grandma in the kitchen RIGHT NOW hollering about bring me my good roaster from out the pantry baby or hollering about  y'all aint cleaning these greens right... we aint coming. If you make green bean casserole from the directions on the back of Frenchs onion container.... oh no baby what is you doing.... I'm  kidding. Get it how you live yall... YOU NAME IT!  Eat what you want, how you want, with who YOU want. Laugh all day. Love on each other. Praise God for all you got now and are going to get later. SistaTV loves you, 4 days off, and beans, greens, potatoes, tomatoes... Happy Thanksgiving love. I'm so grateful for my life, my family,  my friends and my future... #thankyougod #igotatestimony #lookahere #younameit #hedidit #iluhgod #wonthedoit #waymaker #shondo #ifeellikeshouting #areyoureadyforamiracle #readyasicanbe