May the spirit of fuck it be upon you…or How to be eleven.
At about 5:37am this morning… I told LittleSistaTV that the spirit of fuck it is upon her and I was sick of it.
Despite my potty mouth here… I rarely, if ever curse at my kids or around them. It’s just not my style and they always panic when I do cuss… BUT the spirit of fuck was upon her to tough and….
She is 11 now and is 11 now and also… she is 11 now.
If you have never had an 11 year old girl child that is 11 and feel a way about me saying that to her…. YOU CAN SHUT ALLLL OF THE FUCK UP. If you have ever had to walk up on your child just like this….
….and you and said child are still above the ground… and nobody is locked up…. You already know this struggle, sympathize with me completely and know that sometimes the ONLY silver lining is just hoping that God is using this child to test your patience and if you can just get them through this alive and remain sane… God will like maybe give you the big piece of chicken in the Heaven cafeteria line. Maybe…
Ultimately, I know she is honestly doing the best she can for the most part. But sometimes…. just like myself and the rest of the world sometimes she makes mistakes along the way…
Yesterday night she was too tired to finish all of her homework… The very same homework that I have been asking her about… The very same homework that she should have already done like I (clap) had (clap) already(clap) told(clap)her(clap)little(clap) ass(clap) to(clap) do!
But she didn’t and was now whining about it cause she was embarrassed, and worried and tired and ….. ELEVENNNN.
So I said my WooSahs and said… Okay fine. If you are too tired to finish now. You can go to sleep BUT you have to set your alarm early enough to wake up and finish the last bits…
She said okay Mommy and off she went.
Cut to this morning….
She didn’t set her alarm.
So this morning when I busted in her room and SLAMMED ON HER LIGHTS and snatched her out of bed looking like this:
I was kinda sorta tired of her shit. LOL.
SistaTV: Did you set your alarm?
LittleSistaTV: I tried to. And then I was pushing buttons. and then the music kept coming on. and then the alarm said 00:59. and I didn’t know why it said 00:59. and then I just got frustrated and was tired and I unplugged it and just went to sleep.
LittleSistaTV: I’m sorry, Mommy…
And then I told her about herself …. And she is now sitting on the couch across from me trudging through the albatross that is 6th grade Algebra and Social Studies.
Sigh… We gone make it. I know we will. She’s smart, kind, respectful, helpful, powerful, thoughtful, determined and wants to do well in all things. She’s also 11…and even though she thinks she knows EVVEERRYYYTHING… she’s still figuring it all out.
My job is to help her get through it and further equip and remind her that it’s perfectly fine to make mistakes and with time, effort, good faith and allll the good and wonderfulness that she has had in her since birth she can figure all this out…
And I’m still figuring that out but I’m also smart, kind, respectful, helpful, powerful, thoughtful, and determined and want to do well in all things.
But since I’ve had 38 years to fuck up and fix not just 11…
I have learned the special secrets…
- Nobody actual knows shit about shit… We are all just trying.
And most importantly for todays blog….
2. The spirit of fuck it… can actually be a good thing.
Frankly, I need more of it.
She needs less of it but all of us need some of it.
Next time, I tell her to set her alarm and she doesn’t… I’m going to enact my Spirit of Fuck It and let her spirit of fuck it bless her with the natural consequences of not doing what you’re supposed to do and WE(clap)GONE(clap)SEE.
Additionally, I’m going to continue to teach her and remind myself how and WHEN to use the spirit of fuck it wisely.
Rando random nobody has something hateful, negative and based in nothingness to say about you and your life and birthright of flawless victory?
May the Spirit of Fuck IT (and them) be upon you in every way.
Working on something that you are completely passionate about that you believe is a part of your true life’s purpose?
Never Fuck it… always Kill IT.
Working on something that is NOT your life’s purpose that is KEEPING you from finding true joy and peace?
Do what you gotta do to get your through and to the next place and then… Fuck it. All of it. Fuck(clap) every(clap)single(clap) solitary(clap)peace(clap)of(clap)it and go live, Sis.
That shitty little voice in all of our heads that makes you worry about things that do not matter, tell you you can’t, that you are not enough or tries to discourage you from living your best life in any way?
A HEAPING HEALTHY HUGE ASS HELPING OF The Spirit of Fuck it every single time. You are enough. You are worthy. You can. You will. You are.
Make an honest mistake and can’t figure out how to fix it?
Bless your mistake with the spirit of fuck it. Then bless yourself with some mindless bravery and be fearless enough to look at what you did wrong, fix what you can fix, ask for and get any and all help you need. And most importantly, bless your beautifully, perfectly human self with the spirit of Yas Bish YAS and kill that shit by fixing where you went wrong and living your best life.
So…. Even though I said nobody know shit… This is the shit I KNOW to be true about my kid.
That girl alwayyyssss gets her shit together. She tells the truth. She is a real life miracle and she has dealt with life’s good and bad with such grace and fabulosity that I am in awe of her in more ways than I will ever have words. I realize that sometimes 11, and school, and friends, and not friends, and life, and learning, can make you forget all the wonderfulness that is inherit in every fiber of your being. I will remind her of her cause see here breathe is my reminder of God’s.
And I’m just holding out hope that this is just God’s magical mystical marvelous magnificent way of teaching me how to have more patience and even more fuck it… so I think we are going to make it
I’m using my spirit of fuck it wisely and reminding myself that God’s got us and both she and are conquerors… and baby… Conquerors always win.
SistaTV loves you, a girl as bright and glorious as the Sun, and FriYAYs.
PS: I wrote this two weeks ago… She turned 12 today… Mama we made it.